Don’t Wish This Away

This season of life is busy, oh so busy. But I’m committed to remember these feelings, moments, memories forever.

Photo by Patrick Langwallner on Unsplash

When my son was born my mom came to help, we were sitting on the front porch. I was a freshly minted mom, still very much recovering from giving birth. She was reminiscing about her own birth experiences, when she looked at me directly and said “don’t wish these days away”. At the moment, I really didn’t understand the meaning behind that statement. It sounded like something that was sung about in a country music song, and instead of asking more about her implication, I let it be.

The weeks passed, and before I knew it my maternity leave was over. Now I had to make the difficult decision to leave my baby for 12-hours a day with a nanny while I went back to work. And on those work days, I very much found myself wishing the days away, the work days that is.

But by doing that, I was also in turn was wishing away my son’s baby stage. If I could just get through these 3 twelve hour shifts, I could be back home with him. And so I would watch the clock, eagerly wait for the day to be over. But what I wasn’t expecting was that by doing this, in turn how fast his first year went.

I finally understood what my mother meant. I wasn’t “wishing away his days”, one day I woke up and had a one-year old. And all of sudden I want to rewind the clock, go back and really be more present with him. Soak it all up a little more, what I would give if I could just get one more day with him as a baby.

And tonight as I lay in bed after another 12-hour shift, my son asks me to lay with him. And while the physical exhaustion is something real after standing on your feet all day, I say yes to snuggles. Because just like that I have a big kid, a second grader. It feels cliche to say it, but time is a thief.

This post is part of a blog hop with Exhale—an online community of women pursuing creativity alongside motherhood, led by the writing team behind Coffee + Crumbs. Click here to view the next post in the series "Moment in Time".